The Hyper-Achiever

Dependent on constant performance and achievement for self-respect, self-worth, and validation. Keeps you focused mainly on external success versus internal criteria for happiness. Can lead to unsustainable work ethics or workaholism. You can fall out of touch with deeper emotional and relationship needs.

Hyper-achiever’s self-justifying lie (promise):  Self-acceptance and self-worth is conditional on performance and external validation. Need to be working or gaining certifications or degrees to be valued. You can achieve more because of me, and you will be happier because of what we achieve.

How: The achievement is the condition for self-love. The achievement creates your identity. 

Looks like: Busy, self-involved.  Because it is all about you and your achievement, people along the way feel like they are just serving you and your goal, not as much loyalty or inspiration. 

Feels like: Wasted mental and emotional energy. Time is focused on the wrong things and take you away from achieving.

Consequence/Problem: You are constantly judging yourself based on your achievements. If on the way to an achievement a glitch occurs (and they often do) then your identity is at risk. You wonder if you have enough status or credentials to be of value. You feel you always need to be in the process of working towards something.