The Avoider

Lives their life in an artificial version of positivity and pleasantness. They believe and buy the fantasy version, pretending things are fine is easier, they even believe the lie. They avoid difficult and unpleasant tasks or conflicts. This leads to procrastination and chronic avoidance. Especially conflict avoidance. This results in damaging eruptions and festering conflict within themselves. Avoiding conflict still creates conflict. Their constant avoiding and sidestepping causes delays and makes them unreliable.

Avoider’s self-justifying lie (promise): I’m being positive, and I’m in the moment, and all is good. “I am going to make life more pleasant and positive and enjoyable.”

How: When something is not pleasant, positive, or enjoyable it just avoids dealing with it. (Tasks, projects, conflicts with a person)

Looks like: Procrastination.

Feels like: Constantly anxious. 

Consequence/Problem: What you’re avoiding won’t magically disappear or take care of itself. It usually becomes a bigger problem. Plug into reality and stop pretending things away or buying the fantasy.